A Friendly Guide for being Ginger this summer….
Well Summer time has finally hit us with its fists of fire! And of course that means we like to moan our arses off. Being Ginger is a hard way of life! Not only do we have to put up with the laughs and jokes about our carrot hair and freckly ghost skin but also we are allergic to the sun!
No one likes sunburn! No one wants to look like a shiny lobster!
Orange hair and red skin are not a good match.
Here are some quality tips to help you gingers through the tough months ahead
- Stay inside, Hibernate…Just don’t go out! It’s not worth the lobstery risk! Stay away from the windows. Just find a dark room (possibly a basement or cupboard) get a sheet and hide till dark.
- What job do you have? If it involves being outside or near an open window then I suggest you quit right now. Here is a list of some better suited jobs for you ginger nuts
- Nighttime shelf stacker at Tesco’s
- Submarine engineer
- Prostitute (but be careful during a full moon as it can get quite bright)
- Coal miner
- Batman impersonator (the suit will cover all your skin)
- If you do have to venture out into the sunny world you will need protection! Stock up on some factor 50 and smear it on till you look like a big blog of mayonnaise. No need to rub it in! You will need a few coats.
- if you are being forced to go to the seaside, drastic measures must be taken to fight against the suns evil rays. You might as well just burrow under the sand like some sort of human crab! This will eliminate all sun and keep your body cool! Watch out for real crabs!
- If you do get burnt (lets face it…its going to happen) then avoid wearing these colours which could clash with your new red glow:
…or maybe just wear a bag over your head?
Here are some ginger fails that will make you think twice about leaving your house!
If you do get really red and the freckles invade your face. You could alwayds embrace it. Get your friends round, have a few drinks and play dot to dot on your sweaty red freckly face.
Enjoy & stay safe
Lucy Can’t Dance <3